30 Things I Learned Before Turning 30
I have this thing where I get older but just never wiser
Taylor shared her list with Elle Magazine in 2019, so here’s mine for 2024.
ONE
The best people in life are free!
I am so grateful and blessed to have the best immediate and extended family in the world. I absolutely have no idea what I would do without them and definitely took for granted having so many people in my corner over the years.
TWO
Packing never gets better…
Just when you think you have a fool-proof system, it stops working for some reason. I travel a lot and still struggle. But I’m also a big girl with big feet so I insist my clothes and shoes take up more space than the average Jane. But still, I wish there was a hack.
THREE
when you get the choice to sit it out or dance, I hope you dance!
The first podiatrist quoted Lee Ann Womack to me when I asked him about my future on the dance floor, and I’ll never forget it. Dance (ballet specifically) was a fundamental part of who I was for over half of my life. To this day I find community, friendships, and joy through dance, in the studio or on the dance floor!
Even when you look like the before in an anti-depressant ad.
FOUR
Traveling is the best feeling in the world.
Go more places, meet more people, see the world! Bonus points for solo travel. Go get lost on an adventure!
FIVE
Convertibles are underrated.
SIX
Children are underestimated.
I think people (especially non-parents over the age of 15) don’t give children enough credit for their personalities and wisdom.
SEVEN
“Be ashamed of not trying enough, not for trying and failing.”
My writing teacher said this last week and I really want to channel this in my next decade.
EIGHT
Embarrassment is overrated.
Don’t sweat the small stuff. Get comfortable laughing at yourself. I’ll never be demure. I’ll always drop things in public, bump into strangers, say stupid shit, but it’s also because I’m always having fun, leaving my comfort zone, and have ADHD.
NINE
Don’t talk about your friends behind their backs.
You’ll never feel good about it. It’s never worth it in the end. Venting to a close friend is different from gossiping. It’s not as easy as it should be.
TEN
Be more opinionated and less judgmental.
This was a resolution I made after the summer of 2020. 🤷♀️
ELEVEN
Audiobooks count
TWELVE
Life is better in/on/near the water
Ferry rides, swimming laps, kayaking, pontoon parties, floating in the ocean… so good for the soul! Just walking along the river refreshes me.
THIRTEEN
Vicks Vapo Rub + Salt = no more bug bite
I keep a small jar with salt stirred in. Apply it liberally to your bug bite and it’ll go down overnight. Use bandaids/socks if necessary. Salt in your sheets sucks, but not as bad as big itchy bites. The vicks is cooling and holds the salt in place. The salt dries out the bite.
FOURTEEN
Do no harm, but take no shit ✌️
I think people should do anything that makes them happy without shame as long as they are not harming other people. Pretty simple stuff.
FIFTEEN
Do the damn thing(s) - instagrams, substack, cooking show
Have fun and put things out in the world!
SIXTEEN
craft/bake/create
Get those creative juices flowing and make cool shit! I find peace in learning new crafts and making things. Whether it was stress baking through AP Physics, deciding to preserve my best friend’s wedding bouquet even though I never had before, assembling a lego set, or embarking on an annual tradition of preserving the books we read in a year for B, C, K, and J, it’s a lot but it’s my zen.
SEVENTEEN
“It’s not a party if there’s no piñata.” (themes are fun)
So I used to say this as a child, so it’s no question my mom’s love of themed parties translated into a lifetime of themed events! Themes are fun and speak to all of our friends’ inner theatre kids.
EIGHTEEN
Take Classes!
My yiayia always says, “learn something new every day.” There’s lots we’re curious about as adults, and there are so many resources in-person and online. It’s a great way to learn and meet like-minded people! I’ve taken dance classes, writing classes, comedy classes, and crafting classes.
NINETEEN
Memories happen if you make them
Go out of your way to get the trip out of the group chat. Force your family to get together every 2 years, it’s fundatory! My dad is really good at intentionally creating memories, and it’s so important. Especially now if your friends are spread out across the world and in different seasons of life.
This is a quick reel of the weekend a college friend-group and I did a DIY 5 year re-union in Atlanta! With the exception of 1 wedding, this is the only time all 6 of us have been together at the same time since graduation!
TWENTY
Money Comes and Goes
Oh lord. Since graduating I have had more money in my savings account than I knew what to do with (I miss living rent-free at Mom and Dad’s) and I’ve had crippling credit card debt. The most powerful feeling in the world was last summer when I got out of credit card debt on my own. (It takes a village of course and I’m very fortunate to have a safety net, but I am proud that I paid off all my credit card debt with my own income.). Of course life as a free-lancer has its ups and downs, but having had that experience once already, the next time isn’t as daunting and hopeless. (Don’t take financial advice from me, or actually I know a lot but definitely do as I say and not as I do.)
TWENTY-ONE
Tanned fat is muscle.
I don’t make the rules. Get the spray tan!
TWENTY-TWO
Reading is Fundamental
It’s my favorite thing to do. It’s my favorite thing to talk about. It’s my favorite thing to shop. It’s my favorite way to make friends.
TWENTY-THREE
Therapy is the best. Health Insurance is the worst.
I wish I had started therapy sooner (and done it more consistently). I am so thankful that my union insurance of the last few years has excellent mental health coverage and I’ve been able to see therapists for $5 a session and my psychiatrist (I’m obsessed with Dr. C) for $10 a session.
However having navigated several insurance situations since entering college still covered by my parents’ HMO, I hate the insurance system in this country and I am petrified for my situation come December 1st when I’m no longer covered by my union insurance.
TWENTY-FOUR
“Voting is like shaving your legs”
The first time I voted (2 weeks into being 18 and getting to vote for Barack Obama’s second term), the woman who handed me my ballot said,
“Voting is like shaving your legs: once you start you can’t stop!”
Now I won’t say anything about my shaving habits (because they’re atrocious), BUT I will say I am an avid voter! And having grown up in a red county and state to then have worked a state-wide campaign one cycle after Gwinnett flipped blue [for Hillary] and one before the state did [for Biden, Warnock, & Ossoff], I can say first-hand EVERY VOTE COUNTS!
TWENTY-FIVE
“Wear a hair tie on your wrist when you go out.”
I guess we are now in the advice given to me that stuck portion of the list. But my wonderful cousin Catherine told me this when I was a senior in high school. She explained I’ll have more friends if girls don’t have to hold my hair back while I puke.
TWENTY-SIX
“Closed mouths don’t get fed”
My last therapist told me this, but it’s so true. You have to ask for what you want and need. You can’t expect your loved ones to read your mind, and vise versa.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Break in heels by wearing socks.
It’ll help you wear down the blister-prone spots as well as clue you in to the hot spots (so you can utilize lesson 28).
TWENTY-EIGHT
Blister bandaids will change your life.
Put them on your feet BEFORE you get the blisters. My Stuart Weitzman boots always give me blisters on the inside of my heels, now I put a blister bandaid their preemptively and no problemo! (Consider adding thick socks too!)
TWENTY-NINE
“If she has an issue with you, it’s not your business.”
Not everyone is going to like you, and that’s totally fine! If someone has an issue with you they should address it with you directly, if not don’t let it get you down. I think this is a great tool to use when anxiety gets your in your insecurities. But also, see 26. If someone wants you to change, they should tell you.
THIRTY
Friendships come and go and that’s okay.
The hardest and most painful lesson has been that some “forever friendships” have an expiration date. All the more reason to cherish your friends and loved ones. It’s not worth clinging to relationships just because of the tenure. Give your friends room to grow, change, and evolve. My closest and dearest friends give me room to be me and I give them space and respect to live their lives. For the best friends you pick up where you left off, no matter how much time has passed. For long distance friendships it’s best to find new things you have in common and use them as touchstones even if it’s once a year.
Hyperfixation du jour: gifs about turning 30!
Fantastic read, an inspiration for those looking to be inspired!
Love love love, you're an inspiration to us all!