Nothing comes to mind that I would not exchange for the opportunity to be accidentally added to a group chat with you in it. Your mind is a beautifully quirky, creative, nerdy, and horny labyrinth littered with pop-culture references and laugh out loud one-liners.
As an Ali Hazelwood stan, this is the kind of shit I’d love to read. Send it to your Ali Hazelwood-loving besties now.RIGHT NOW. Send it before you finish reading it so you can buddy-read my crazy, fangirl, love letter to our queen of the sapiosexual romance subgenre.
I know people suck. I’ve recently realized how unfathomably mean “normal,” unassuming people can be, and to be bombarded by hateful opinions from hoards of strangers online… I’d rather go take a selfie at the mouth of an active volcano.
Context for those not on BookTok/Bookstagram:
In the most unhinged, bat-shit, I’m concerned for our chronically online generations, turn of events recently, toxic bibliophiles of the internet have bullied my lady and savior offline.
I can’t count how many times I’ve rolled my eyes at men lamenting having to be “PC” in “this day in age.” Oh how the turns have tabled.There is but one safe space where the most problematic, hyperbolic, said-it-for-the-bit, judgmental opinions spew out of my trap, and that sacred space is book club. It is the only setting where my ugly inner thoughts and my outer extraverted excellence coexist. Not to put words in my friends’ mouths… but I wouldn’t be surprised if they said listening to Josephine and I banter is akin to a spiritual experience. [paraphrasing]
Anyway, a clip of Ali on some book panel a couple months ago razzing the moderator with her Hunger Games hot takes has resurfaced and the Peeta stans have taken it upon themselves to harass her off the internet.
Thousands of a**h*l*s took it upon themselves to comment on every RANDOM-ASS post on her feed (including those co-authored with other accounts) not only trashing her ship opinions and [whatever the bibliophile equivalent of mansplaining] is the significance of Suzanne Collins legendary series, but also tearing apart her novels, storylines, character archetypes, patterns across her books, and so much worse.
I am DISGUSTED.
I have strong opinions about many popular writers and books that I’m hesitant to even be slightly critical of on this blog that’s read by 2 friends, 2 cousins, and sometimes my grandparents, I would never in a million years harass those authors with my OPINIONS on their work (and the implied harm I associate with them). If you EVER catch me in Colleen Hoover’s comment section, go ahead and check me in to an outpatient mental health facility because my marbles have left the building.
tl;dr: an author who got famous on the internet for writing Reylo fanfic is Team Gale and instead of rolling their eyes and touching grass, some slime-ball, no-good, ogres took it upon themselves to harass a brilliant Neuroscientist off of social media.
I will back her every day. And fight against internet bullies no matter the victim.
I'll never forget this moment of Caroline Flack gripping Lucie Donlan's arm when discussing mean comments.
I love Love Island UK, but it absolutely should not be a show anymore. Four people tied to the show have taken their lives. Cyberbullying of celebrities is a dangerous problem that is too easily dismissed.
Already this season for Love Island USA the show has had to issue statements not once, but twice, asking viewers to refrain from doxing and harassing contestants.
Never forget when Bachelor Nation made my queen Kaitlyn Bristowe sit through the reading of slut-shaming comments and tweets on national television.
I have a zero tolerance policy for cruel people.
Peed's Reads is the closest I get to sharing my “not media trained” opinions outside of book club. Subscribe to get these straight to your inbox every week!
Ali Hazelwood out of context:
“It all sounds as fun as shaving my armpits with a can opener.” -Deep End
Hey sweet Ali, sorry about that. I had to clue these ignoramuses (ignorami?) in on the utter bologna you’ve been battling. We see you. We love you. We support you. And we beg you to keep writing. Get mean in your next book! (“We” because I speak for all 85 of my subscribers.)
I’m hoping we’re all reading to much into your situation, but if we are not, I’m going to need a cardiac condom to prepare myself for your Reputation Era. (Would that just be a pace maker?)
I only had a few insensitive comments on a single reel and it fired me up enough to write a rant about reading being a safe space for women. I know you're mind is firing at 121 miles per hour right now and I hope we get to reap the rewards. (And I know - or I think I know - that the metaphor is firing on cylindersor runningat a set velocity but idgaf.)
Bookstagram has become one of my favorite “third places” over the last 2+ years of running @bck.reads with my best friends. But in the last couple weeks the Brads and Chads have popped my bubble of book blurbs and unserious inside jokes.
For starters babe, I’m currently reading Problematic Summer Romance, and OH MY GOD! How do you do it? Every. Damn. Time.
The way I am obsessed with this soul-torturing slow burn love story? I find myself thinking of Conor throughout the day. I matched with this fine Irishman on a dating app and chatted with him for a minute. Obviously for the aforementioned hotness, but mainly because he was lining up with my current book boyfriend too well! (Though we all know the app we were on is more Eli than Conor… iykyk)
I’m having the eerie experience of simultaneously wishing I was a faster reader and never wanting this book to end.
mostly Ali Hazelwood out of context quotes, but to prove how moving Great Big Beautiful Lifewas, I showed I wasn’t even in my luteal phase when it had me crying on the subway. And how I switched from audio to paperback at some point for Not in Love but was also reading Fang Fiction, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and eating cookies at the same time. (and that’s on being thirty)
I think the photos in my text exchange with friend of the Stack Shubangi should be evidence enough of your brilliance. We send (okay it’s mostly me who sends (okay it’s exclusively me who sends, but she swears she loves it!)) stand out sentences. (In Deep End I sent her all the times Lukas used an imperative sentence with Scarlett outside of the bedroom.) You’re bloody brilliant woman. (The way I’m eating up every crumb of innuendo dropped by Conor right now…UGH!)
“Mid food and colonial violence. It’s our thing.” -Scarlett on American Thanksgiving in Deep End
There are so many things that set your writing apart from other romance novels. Comparison is the thief of joy, and I’m not trying to imply other writer’s stories lack anything, I just think it’s worth appreciating the distinct and original space you’ve created for your characters. I love it! I am your target demo! You,
are three authors who I adore but would be terrified to actually converse with because I know I’ll just stutter, brain fart, and go fully non-verbal. But not in a still-waters-run-deep way à la Rue, in a Levi Ward dodging Bee like a TB infected handkerchief from Satine’s original collection type of way.
That time at the Check & Materelease night when I stood there like your own private [sweaty (because it’s always 98° in there no matter the season), mute] Greek statue, I wish I could say it was part of my long game to mastermind (one of the bracelets remember?) our slow burn friendship to mirror your best books where we start off knowing each other unfavorably only to find out one’s been pining for years… idk this metaphor got away from me.
you were so gracious and I was so starstruck
But I was so nervous I only remember throwing them on the table before I blacked out.
“jealousy is born less of love and more of insecurity.” -Deep End
Another thing you do exceptionally well, I’d go so far as to say the best in the biz… (I’m no expert, nor well-read enough to award the superlative, but in my yearbook you took it by a landslide!)
I, like many readers I’d presume, have a love hate relationship with novellas. They’re the amuse-bouche of literature. When you get a hankering for a little something sweet, spicy, or spooky, but aren’t craving the full meal or page count of a novel.
Don’t get me wrong, I loved listening to your STEMinist novellas poolside, but girlie! Two Can Playand Cruel Winter with You?1 Gold f*ck*n standard.
You brilliantly drop us in the middle of a story and give us a realistic but still fantasy-inducing HEA (for now). Novellas get a bad rep because they go full insta-love and try to take us from meet-cute to marriage proposal in about 100 pages. Not saying that’s impossible to do compellingly… but it’s certainly not easy!
Thank you for giving us delicious, angsty buildups so that we’re on the edge of our seats begging them to get together. And then when they finally do, thank you even more for concluding the book with the beginning of a courtship as opposed to betrothal. (If it’s set after 1900, I don’t want no special marriage license needs.)
And are we going to talk about your body of work as a whole?
Because while we can all acknowledge your excellence in the novella department, we all know your true brilliance lies in crafting the most intense sapiosexual attachments on the page.
Come on Mama. Leave some room at the top for the rest of us! The way you write a simp ready to lay his life down for an unacknowledged crush is nothing short of masterly. The folded towel in Problematic Summer Romance?! Just tell me, do you know when you’re cooking?
You’ve written so many of my favorite books. Reading your books is always wild for me because I can’t put them down (thank god I didn’t have a remote job when I read Deep End or I would have felt guilty for reading on the job so much), but I also never want them to end.
Reading Love on the Brain(my favorite of the OG3), I remember staying up until six in the morning and laughing out loud more times than I can count. Up until they I’d heard people describe authors as “funny” but never really understood it. That book was my wake up call. You’re HILARIOUS! I bet it’s so much fun inside your mind. Probably can be exhausting and frustrating too, but if I had to guess who on this planet has my favorite stream of consciousness, it’d be you. Every. Time.
“Jean Hannity”?! “Thank you, Oh Penised Overlords, for the recognition I deserve”!!! “Science, I tell myself in my inner Jeff Goldblum voice, finds a way.” If we ever get to have a real conversation, I’d love to break down your joke writing process. So many of your best lines are absurd as hell, extremely specific, and totally perfect. How do you discern where to draw the line between niche and irrelevant errant thoughts, and how do you find courage to push the envelope in those lanes?
I remember inDeep EndScarlett’s relationship with her roommate was so specific, but they did play a Jenga game with textbooks on her ass when they passed exhaustion at one point, and it just worked so well while being soooo weird. Even Scarlett’s observations about her and Lukas’s unintentional matching outfits (a byproduct of being student athletes), or her lackluster attempts at following a football conversation….
Maybe I underestimate readers, but I feel like your humor is so niche in it’s nerd-centric-girlie-derp that I can’t imagine the masses loving it. But I guess that mentality is what churns out cookie-cutter, bland but palatable rom-coms. I’ve lost this tangent but bravo.
You are my niche!
it really do be feelin like this every time I open another one of your works
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please never stop writing and leaning into your quirky genius. Fuck the haters, and I wish we, your fans could just run away with you and live in a world with universal healthcare and free of internet losers victimized by the get-a-life epidemic.
Take care of yourself. Your stories have pulled me out of some low funks this year. (linked below)
* The books linked to BookShop.org are through my affiliate link. If you purchase a book via that link, I may receive a small commission. *
For the love of baby toddler Jesus,
if you’ve made it this far and haven’t read her books… get into it! Explore your nerdy side. Her books range from demi-sexual and inexperienced leads to kink-forward, f**k first, feelings later relationship dynamics.
This is my personal pyramid for ranking the Aliverse:
Her novels are written for romance novel lovers!
Often her characters are readers and self-aware. (The one-bed trope argument in The Love Hypothesis is iconique.)
If you’re new to Ali Hazelwood and don’t know where to start, I created a Mood Reader’s Guide to Ali Hazelwood. Please let me know if you pick a book from this.
Y’all better run this decision tree. It took me 5eva to make.
What’d y’all think of this?
Are you Ali Hazelwood fans too? Will you give her a shot because of this post? Do you want a specific post that just dives a little deeper into each work and who I’d recommend each for? Would you be interested in more open letters to my favorite authors?
Okay I low key hate his thumbnails. But I’ve been watching nonstop and been the best source of laughter not written by Ali Hazelwood.
If you want to purchase any of the books mentioned in this article, please consider using my affiliate link with my favorite independent book store, The Ripped Bodice, or using my referral link to libro.fm for an audiobook!
The audiobook is free with Prime Reading if you have an Amazon Prime membership. NO KINDLE UNLIMITED MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED. If you purchase the ebook through this link, I may receive a commission from Amazon. (I love that my first footnote is for an Ali Hazelwood love letter)
